Blinking VCR Light Rant

Everybody loves to make fun of the luddite who slaps a piece of masking over the incorrect, blinking time displayed by their VCR. Granted, in this age of DVDs and PVRs, only a luddite would still own a VCR. But these infernal, blinking, green, epilepsy-inducing, referenceless non-clocks are installed in everything these days, including radios, microwave ovens, and cars.

The masking tape user does not deserve our scorn. It's the VCR designer who is to blame. He assumes the user wants their VCR to know the correct time. Now, some people use their VCR as a clock. Some people ask their VCR to record a specific channel at a specific time, and this requires that the clock be accurate. But nobody else, luddite or technophile, needs their VCR (or radio or microwave oven or car) to know what time it is.

Setting the time on your VCR isn't trivial. Even if the buttons are clearly labeled, first you have to find an accurate clock and then you have to press your clearly-labeled buttons in one of the seemingly-infinite combinations and permutations on which all the different manufacturers have failed to standardize. Power outages are inconvenient as it is. Why must our presumptuous appliances hassle us further? The VCR should be able to figure out whether I need it to know the correct time. Only show me the blinking clock if I have a program scheduled to record.

While I'm defending the luddites, I gotta make a case for the VCR too. Its superiority lies in its comprehensible user interface. The DVD menu is, possibly excluding Brad Pitt, the most-annoying invention of the movie industry. What made them think I wanted to solve a goddamned choose-your-own-adventure game just to watch my Star Wars 2 DVD? Which button is highlighted? Do I go "right" or "down" to get to the next button? Did my remote control's infrared command not make it to the DVD player, or did it receive the command and is it just waiting for steam to come out of my ears before actually performing it? I long for the "play", "rewind", "fast forward" simplicity of the VCR. The DVD gives me nothing in exchange for the simplicity it stole.

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